Be Careful, These 6 Sentences Are Not Spoken On Victims of Rape

Being a victim of rape or sexual violence is not desirable. Rape is a sadistic, deadly self-esteem, and causes the victim’s psychological and physical trauma. Victims of rape experience stress, fear, anxiety mixed up. Therefore, if you become a victim storyteller, be careful what you say. Precisely do not make more victims feel the downturn. Here are six sentences that should not be spoken to the victim.

1. “Why is the story now?”
This sentence can make victims disappointed. Many victims of trauma, it is very difficult to talk about what happened to others. It could be due to fear of unbelief, guilt, immense shame, and anxiety that the perpetrator will take revenge. With how dare the victim tell you, it means the victim believes in you now. Do not think if the victim does not trust you or does not trust you.

Rather than saying this sentence, it is better to stress their positive strength on the trauma they experience and appreciate their courage and honesty.

2. “Why do not you fight back?”
Saying this sentence to the victim is very inappropriate and painful.

When the victim is attacked by the perpetrator, the victim is in a state of shock. They do not believe what happened. Victims of rape are sometimes there who can still resist although eventually also lost. However, some can not move a bit as if his body is not part of him anymore.

After this incident, the victim will have a tremendous sense of remorse for himself. Why can not I fight? Why can not I fight even harder? Full of regret is imposed on itself because of the effects of shock and the inadequacy that they do.

Never ask any question in this direction again to the victim because they have enough pain to face all his regrets.

3. “Just now you just obey!”
When the victim tells you, do not immediately decide how the victim should overcome what happened. After experiencing sexual harassment, the victim experiences trauma that is beyond her control. Help the victim to control himself first.

If it is calmer, you may ask if there is anything you can do to help him, rather than dictating the victim should do what. You can provide suggestions for the victims, but not with coercion.

4. “Why did you go there? What kind of clothes did you wear then? “
Asking such questions only adds to the negative stigma and guilt experienced by the victim. What’s wrong in this is the culprit, not what the victim or his clothes do. You should instead believe the victim that this is not the fault of the victim, do not even interrogate him like a criminal.

5. “This is all the way.”
This kind of sentence will only make the victim feel she deserves a big disaster like this. Though, of course no one deserves to be treated inhumanely.

If you believe this sentence, it’s okay and there’s nothing wrong. But save yourself for yourself, not when the victim told you then you said it.

6. “Others have more severe cases.”
Giving this statement inhuman to the victims of rape and as if underestimating their pain. Never compare what happens to the victim’s life to what happens in other cases. Especially when the victim heard of a similar case is actually triggered fear and anxiety becomes increasingly. Be careful not to mention any other cases of rape to the victim.

Low self-esteem? These 7 Practices Can Be More Enough Weapons of Life

Of the few existing cases, low self-esteem is usually caused by past experiences that make it traumatic. Examples of family problems that are less harmonious, divorce, physical or emotional abuse, and everything negative happens since childhood. Low self-esteem can make a person difficult to mingle and easy minder. Then, how to improve or build a person’s confidence?

Build confidence that is easy-hard
Keep in mind, that low self-confidence and mental disorders are closely related. The reason, in some cases, low self-esteem itself is the main characteristic of some mental disorder conditions, such as depression or borderline personality disorder.

Easy-minded people tend to view the world as unsafe, and they always assume that they are victims of all situations. So, not infrequently people who lose self-confidence also lost the opportunity to change the situation for the better.

If you or someone else you know feels that way, you can actually build confidence back through simple things but great benefits. What are they? Let’s see below.

1. List your strengths and weaknesses first
By continuing to sharpen and show the world that you have a talent, you can gain your confidence again. No need for recognition from the crowd, the people closest to who realize your ability can also make you more confident in yourself.

Whereas if you’ve found the weakness of yourself, do not stop there or just wailing. Instead you have to struggle to sharpen yourself so that this weakness does not necessarily become a stumbling block in the future.

Suppose you know that your weakness is afraid to take risks. To sharpen yourself, learn to take risks. From small things like tasting new menus in favorite restaurants to great things like taking a photography course or being a project leader at school, college or office.

2. Think positive
It is important to have positive thoughts everyday. A good and positive mind will lead you to a maximum level of confidence. Stay away from negative thoughts or worries about other people’s comments. Try also to be in the environment of positive people who support each other.

3. Change your appearance to anyone you want
Sometimes a person feels inferior because he can not express himself well through appearance. Unclean body, body odor, and messy appearance can lower your confidence. Therefore, to build maximum confidence, start taking care and keeping yourself the way you want.

It could also be that you want to have a model of hair or a certain style of dress, but fear of being commented on by others. Occasionally, try to follow your heart and change the appearance.

4. Switch to a healthy diet and exercise
Eating a healthy and nutritious diet is also one way to support self-confidence. The reason, many people are not confident because of body shape or weight that is not ideal.

Well, to get out of that problem, it’s time you turned to a healthier lifestyle. Start exercising and eating healthy foods. A balanced nutritional intake and a healthy lifestyle will make the mind more positive. Avoid keeping quiet at home and just bemoaning fate. It will not make any changes in you.

5. Focus on the things you love
Confidence can be improved by avoiding the things that make you stress. You can build confidence by doing the things you like. So, try to focus on the things you really like. Leave a job that makes you unhappy and pursue a career that is indeed your dream.

6. Try to smile and be kind to others
Who does not like to be treated well by others? Well, if you want to be treated well, you also have to do it. Try to smile and greet people around your neighborhood. Sincere smiles and friendliness can be “contagious”. A smile can also make a person more confident in the environment.

7. Learn to forgive yourself and others
Everyone has made a mistake. However, if you continue to regret mistakes and can not move on, you will continue to be haunted by it and always feel inferior. So learn to forgive yourself or others who have hurt you. That way, you can focus on organizing the future with more confidence.

4 Important Considerations Why You Should Not Be Too Good To Others

Since childhood, parents always educate us to be good people. There’s nothing wrong with being kind-hearted. However, do not also be a naive person who is too “innocent”. It can even become a master weapon for you when interacting with others in the midst of the harshness of the real world.

The disadvantage of being naive and too innocent
1. Others consider you as a boring person
Who does not like to be friends or relationships with good people? You also want to get along with people who are always good to you.

But being a naive person who is too innocent, anything all nrimo and resignation alone, making others look at you one eye. You will be rated as a very boring and predictable person.

2. You are easily underestimated
So a good person does not mean your personality is weak. Good people can remain firm and stand firm. A person will be more likely to be rewarded if he can be assertive and be himself.

However, naive people who are too innocent usually can never deny the request of others; can not be angry to express themselves; do not have the heart to be blunt (uneg-uneg); always succumbing for the sake of others; and always attached to the needs of others rather than yourself.

This characteristic is often considered weak, thereby allowing others to underestimate and utilize your good for personal gain. The reason, others will be easier to guess your reaction if asked for help or when requesting something from you.

3. You can not be yourself
When you have difficulty expressing yourself, it’s just as if you are not yourself. Emotions that are buried continuously can trigger depression gnawing at you.

On the other hand, too naive and innocent attitudes can be caused by low self-esteem. This causes someone to be willing and ready to do anything for others to gain approval and comfort. In fact, this is not a good way to gain recognition of the environment around your existence.

4. You are easily disappointed
Emotional habits because often disillusioned by the attitude of others can backfire for you. Not infrequently you will also be called a victim of feelings. Over time, tired and bad mood because continue to be disappointed can make your feelings and mental this so unstable, and can lead to depression.